Food for Souls

Happiness is all around us. We have collected the latest research to bring you happiness tips so you can love yourself more, care for those around you and increase your happiness. Don't forget to check our site for regular updates!

There is a correlation between social support and well-being - A person who is happy will tend to have a supportive network of close relationships. At the same time, a supportive network can make a person happy.

- Myers, D. G. (2000). The funds, friends, and faith of happy people. American Psychologist, 55(1), 56-67.

Besides being happier, people who have positive social support tend to be healthier and live a longer life!

- Cohen, S. (2004). Social relationships and health. American Psychologist, 59(8), 676-684.

Dr. Gottman, a well-known marriage psychologist, found over many years of research that the most critical factor in a happy marriage is communication, such as spending at least five hours per week investing in the relationship.

- Gottman, J. M. (1994). What predicts divorce?: The relationship between marital processes and marital outcomes. Psychology Press.

A 20-year study on marital relationships concluded that the key to a long lasting marriage is to balance every negative remark with five positive statments. In other words, the ratio of criticism to compliments should be 1:5.

- Gottman, J. M. (1994). What predicts divorce?: The relationship between marital processes and marital outcomes. Psychology Press.

Social psychologists discovered that the quality of a relationship depends on how others respond to your positive events rather than your negative events. When others respond to your positive events enthusiastically, this means they respect you and value your dreams and ideals. The happiness and joy from sharing positive events together can enhance the relationship quality.

- Gable, S. L., Reis, H. T., Impett, E. A., & Asher, E. R. (2004). What do you do when things go right? The intrapersonal and interpersonal benefits of sharing positive events. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 87(2), 228-245.

When we actively respond to the good news of a relative or friend, such as expressing interest and excitement, we can enhance the relationship with the other person and increase happiness.

- Schueller, S. M. (2012). Personality fit and positive interventions: Extraverted and introverted individuals benefit from different happiness increasing strategies. Psychology, 3(12), 1166-1173.

Regulating the emotions of others not only helps them to feel better, but also provide us with the opportunity to practise regulating our own emotions when facing difficulties, such as using different perspectives to view the same situation.

- Doré, B. P., Morris, R. R., Burr, D. A., Picard, R. W., & Ochsner, K. N. (2017). Helping Others Regulate Emotion Predicts Increased Regulation of One's Own Emotions and Decreased Symptoms of Depression.Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 43(5), 729-739.

The Michelangelo Phenomenon describes the process through which a positive relationship encourages both parties to move towards to their ideal self. Over time, the Michelangelo effect causes both individuals to influence and "sculpt" each other, just like how Michelangelo sculpted the marble into the ideal figure.

- Drigotas, S. M., Rusbult, C. E., Wieselquist, J., & Whitton, S. W. (1999). Close partner as sculptor of the ideal self: behavioral affirmation and the Michelangelo phenomenon. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 77(2), 293-323.

If we do not express support to others through verbal or non-verbal language, it may create a distance in the relationship and even lessen others' trust towards us.

- Schueller, S. M. (2012). Personality fit and positive interventions: Extraverted and introverted individuals benefit from different happiness increasing strategies. Psychology, 3(12), 1166-1173.

If we show greater appreciation of our partner's strengths, it will increase our satisfaction towards the relationship and enable us to feel our partner's support more deeply. As a result, we will be more likely to invest in the relationship.

- Kashdan, T. B., Blalock, D. V., Young, K. C., Machell, K. A., Monfort, S. S., McKnight, P. E., & Ferssizidis, P. (2017, April 6). Personality Strengths in Romantic relationships: Measuring Perceptions of Benefits and Costs and Their Impact on Personal and Relational Well-Being.Psychological assessment. Advance online publication. http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/pas0000464

When we believe that those who have hurt us will make mistakes but are also capable of change, we will decrease our negative emotions and even enhance the ability of our cardiovascular system to withstand stress.

- vanOyen Witvliet, C., DeYoung, N. J., Hofelich, A. J., & DeYoung, P. A. (2011). Compassionate reappraisal and emotion suppression as alternatives to offense-focused rumination: Implications for forgiveness and psychophysiological well-being. The Journal of Positive Psychology, 6(4), 286-299.

When a person is facing stress, the social support and care from family and friends together with a sense of compassion for others, can buffer his/her physiological reactivity to stress, such as lowering the blood pressure and secretion of cortisol etc.

- Cosley, B. J., McCoy, S. K., Saslow, L. R., & Epel, E. S. (2010). Is compassion for others stress buffering? Consequences of compassion and social support for physiological reactivity to stress. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 46 (5), 816-823.

In a close relationship, both parties will inevitably need to compromise. If only one person is willing to compromise and sacrifice their needs, this will result in lower marital satisfaction and higher depressive symptoms. Therefore, both partners should provide each other with sufficient emotional support, such as listening to each other and expressing concern. In this way, even if compromise is required, a high quality relationship can be maintained.

- Lin, W. F., Li, T. S., & Chen, L. H. (2017). Sacrifice in a Supportive Marriage: Social Support as a Moderator Buffers the Negative Effects of Sacrifice in Marriage. Journal of Happiness Studies, 18(2), 575-589.

Invite your family or friends to share a positive event with you. Then try to respond positively, such as paying close attention, expressing interest and asking for details etc. Studies show that this can enhance the relationship and consolidate positive memories.

- Gable, S. L., Gonzaga, G., & Strachman, A. (2006). Will you be there for me when things go right? Social Support for Positive Events.Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 91, 904-917.

Think of an important person and imagine that he/she was never present in your life. How would your life be different? After you come back to reality, you will be more grateful for this person and the role they play in your life.

- Koo, M., Algoe, S. B., Wilson, T. D., & Gilbert, D. T. (2008). It's a wonderful life: Mentally subtracting positive events improves people's affective states, contrary to their affective forecasts.Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 95(5), 1217-1224.

When others share with you that they are feeling down, listening actively and validating their emotions are more likely have a positive impact than giving advice immediately.

- Weger, H., Castle Bell, G., Minei, E. M., & Robinson, M. C. (2014). The relative effectiveness of active listening in initial interactions. International Journal of Listening, 28(1), 13-31.

Think back to the last time you and your partner had a fight. Then try to think of how to resolve this conflict using an objective perspective to achieve the best outcome for both people. This kind of thinking practice can effectively reduce the unhappiness caused by conflicts.

- Finkel, E.J., Slotter, E.B., Luchies, L.B., Walton, G.M., & Gross, J.J. (2013). A brief intervention to promote conflict reappraisal preserves marital quality over time. Psychological Science, 24(8), 1595-1601.